Punters

by Robin Laing
boat

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The starter fired his gun to commence the rollicking fun
There was pushing and poking and pulling and punting
Great big guys groaning and grunting
You've never seen anything quite so banal
As the punters punting on the Union canal

There were two participant punts
Performing and pulling off stunts
But the guys in the boaties were little Don Quixotes
Standing in a punt, trying to confront
The others with a dunt, or a sneaky wee shunt

The first punt started so well,
shot along like a bat out of hell
But the guy at the back felt his grip go slack
And the poor old soul slipped down his pole
Landed in the drink and did an eskimo roll

The second punt bumped to the front
And the crew gave a jubilant grunt
But the captain to be blunt was a cretinous runt
And his boat mis-steered, it was weird how it veered
And everybody cheered when the bugger disappeared

And the silence of the setting was drowned
By the sound for miles around
And an unimpressed swan gave a cynical yawn
And the drakes and the ducks all agreed that punting sucks
And the rats and the voles ran back into their holes for some parecetamols

Recorded on :

Walking in Time - Robin Laing, Greentrax Records CDTRAX 072 (1994)