The Bradford Canal

© Eddie Lawler 2012

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Attention all passengers aboard this boat
Hereís a health warning before we start
Draw a deep breath if you intend to sing
íCos this song STINKS

Now the life of a bargemanís not cosy or easy
But he doesnít get scurvy and he shouldnít get seasick
With a boat for a home and a family for crew
Thereís goods to be carried and plenty to do
But thereís one trip too far for a bargemanís morale
Thatís taking a cargo on the Bradford Canal

Chorus:
Oh the stink, oh the smell
Youíll be forgiven for thinking itís hell
Oh the stink, oh the smell
Steer well away from the Bradford Canal

Itís a navvy-built section from tí Liverpool-Leeds
Making Bradfordís connection to West and to East
From Shipley Junction itís just three-and-half miles
But with ten locks to tackle takes more than a while
And once youíve unloaded at tí Hoppy Bridge end
Itís ten locks all over to get out again
Chorus: Oh the stink,.....

As transport for boats whatís the water was meant
But this stretch of waterís a deadly dead-end
Not used just for transport but everything else
Especially the nasty stuff poured out from tímills
Which spring up like mushrooms along both its banks
Manufacturing water thatís reeking and rank
Chorus: Oh the stink,.....

To tísolvent and dyestuff from tímaking of cloth
Add human detritus tipped neat into tíbroth
Which wafts all round Windhill when tí wind blows from tíWest
And spreads typhus and cholera to those who ingest
The contents explosive, it might well ignite
By tí Bradford Canal please thereís no naked lights
Chorus: Oh the stink, oh the smell

Steer well away from the Bradford Canal
Oh the stench, oh the reek
The odour will stick with you many a week
Oh the niff, oh the pong
Youíve just been singing the smelliest song
Oh the stink oh the smell
Steer well away from the Bradford Canal

Many thanks to Eddie Lawler for providing the lyrics and recording (from his fifth album entitled 'Bradford Canal and Other Tales'). Eddie comments that this is the only canal (to his knowledge) that's been closed twice. Who am I to disagree? More information about Eddie Lawler and the opportunity to purchase his CDs can be found on his website.